After reading all of these fantastic posts from others, I figured there had to be something special, even magical, no… epic about this shirt. I thought maybe it would make me more aerodynamic, and grant me cat-like reflexes. I even had a split second thought of seeing myself third person walking in slow motion to school in this shirt. All of the girls would fall over me and the football coach would finally beg ME to play football.

So I bought it… No, I bought ten. When the shirts FInally made it to my doorstep (if I had a shirt I reckoned I could’ve run there and back again faster than FedEx shipped it #thenewsnailmail), I couldn’t wait to adorn this magical garment.  I was so excited the next morning  to wear it (didn’t even use the alarm.. excitement did it for me), for the first time in my life, I was actually READY for school. I got ready, threw it on, and fired up the jalopy on my way to school.

I parked and began walking into school, and I thought it was already working. A group of girls were already staring at me. Right then, I turned back around to find myself in mid fall (I had missed the first step). Almost as in slow motion I remember thinking, “wonder powers activate…” but nothing happened. As if I was paralyzed, I fell to the ground.  One of the girls did come over and help me up, but my pride was damaged. I left school that day and took the shirt off and hung it in the closet.  Maybe there will be a day when the magic will work for me.

But for now, I’m giving this shirt 1 star